Whoever is reading this, I'm going to start with two apologies. First is that the name of this topic may sound too technical. Sorry about that. Second is that as always I'm going to be abstract, to abstract as usually in order to protect me and the guilty. This is a public blog you know :P .
So without further delays, let's get to the point. It's may be an old cliché, but in order to understand yourself you must observe and listen to others and in order to understand others you must observe and listen to yourself. But not only listen, but to analyze. On one hand this is very powerful tool in understanding and persuading self and others, on the other hand this is very challenging task, since behavior of a person and interactions between people takes much less time than analysis. There are solutions for that of course. First of all not every single interaction are equally valuable. Sometimes it takes little to see the pattern. Another good thing is that we do not have to start from the scratch. There are some researches regarding these topics.
But knowledge is not enough. Another important thing is... Well I would call this "ego suppression". There are no my interests outside of me. No one must do anything for me unless it's they interest. The first question I should answer here is "what are their agenda?". Were I need as little assumptions as possible, as little bias as possible. That is hard, but not nearly as hard as second question: "what am I trying to do?". This is not as simple question as it may look like. People has lots of hidden agendas, so secret that they doesn't know about it even themselves. There are lots of insecurities, defenses we are not aware of. This, I believe is one of the main sources of misunderstandings between people.
The bottom line here is that the key of understanding and persuading others is as unbiased as possible self observation.
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