Honesty and "what if"

It's better bitter true than sweet lies I used to say, and its so true. But he problem is that honesty starts with being honest to myself. And in lots of cases I fail to be honest with myself, because it's do hard. The longer I live the more I have to hide from myself and It's most often counterproductive. One of the reasons is that honesty means admitting that I have some socially unacceptable thoughts, feelings or ideas and socially unacceptable means not only unacceptable to others, but unacceptable to me as well. Why it's counterproductive? Well anger is something that makes people to give effort to restore social justice. An when somebody is unjust, I should get angry, but I don't instead I analyze if my anger is adequate, what is the use of it and so on if it is useful I get angry if not, I don't. Now what is the problem here? The problem is that I can't evaluate situation correctly and usually I'm better of acting on an instinct. Or am I. In case of anger, I should be able to tell when and most importantly how to get angry, this is a skill, certain knowledge in social psychology are invaluable here, but experience are even more important.
Of course merely anger management are least of my problems of honesty with self. Another is fear to honest, fear, because I don't know is something terrible is going to happen next.

Idea

Three days back I've red a book about strategical persuasion and it reminded me that in order to persuade somebody you must have an idea, that you want to see them in your way, because nobody will buy your idea unless you have clearly formed it and/or grasped it, reminds me Cobs from Inception words "An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks". That explains lots of misunderstandings in my life including my failures to persuade myself. So now once again I'm trying to understand myself, and that's hard task, because the smarter you are the more you are capable in understanding things, such as yourself, but the smarter you are the more complex you are therefore more difficult to be understood.